Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
