we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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