I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
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In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize