What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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