school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize