Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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