first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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