i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
