My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
