Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
