they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
