I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
