Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
