I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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