So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
