Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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