First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
