Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
