Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
