so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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