U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If that was your dad, he is hot
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
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Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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