No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
