Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
