your thong is hanging out like whoa
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
