if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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