Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
