i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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