Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
