uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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