Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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