Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
