Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
