There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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