he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
