no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
