I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
