I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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