the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize