I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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