i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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