I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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