Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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(631): View more from New York

If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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(254): View more from Texas

just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.

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(718): View more from New York

you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...

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(519): View more from Ontario

My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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(239): View more from Florida

No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Relax

(1-740): View more from Ohio

It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.

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(716): View more from New York

This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.

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