So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
