This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
