3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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