Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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