also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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