how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
