Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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