I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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