i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
