Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
