Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Found your dick twin last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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