i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
