I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
