I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
