she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
