fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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