Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
