people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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